Three Game Series Over, Thank God

Bombers Solve Riddles and Do Tricks
BY SPARKY CHALMERS
In the finale of a three day, three game series, the Bombers were left filling holes defensively and throughout the lineup. The replacements not only performed admirably, but had moments of brilliance in a 20-13 victory over AE&S yesterday in Park Ridge.
AE&S was playing only their second game of the season and, after losing their opening day, did everything in their power to try and beat the defending champion Bombers.
The last time AE&S played B&E a last inning comeback robbed them of the Pearson Cup—and there was certainly a sour taste leftover. AE&S dug deep into their resources and used their sweet new green and yellow jerseys to secure two Pearson League favorites, Josue Reyes and Scarface. Both talented players had already squared off with B&E as part of PT.
“I love playing against Josue Reyes,” pitcher Ian Gold said. “He is probably my favorite athletic figure (copyright 2011, Steve Sartori). Not only do you have to keep his speed and power in check, but you get to solve the riddles he presents throughout the game. I’ll give five dollars to the first person who can tell me what ‘We’re going to put numbers on all the houses’ could possibly mean?”
For B&E to offset an already talented AE&S team, with the two Pearson free agent ringers, they would need a few outstanding performances. And if you are scanning the team trying to find somebody to lean on, look no further than Michael “Boombox” Barbara. The 3rd floor intern had a two-run homer in the first inning, a two-run double in the third inning, a three-run homer in the fifth inning, and capped the day off with a two-run double to add insurance runs in the seventh.
“I would think that accounting for nearly half of 20 RBI’s is a pretty good day,” outfielder Dan Sandin said. “From the back of the lineup, when a hitter is that hot, you just want to get on and give him a chance to drive you in.”
The Bombers needed every run they could muster since they were flirting with danger on defense. For most of the night, it seemed AE&S had base-runners and were a big hit away from putting multiple runs on the board. A few times, it appeared that AE&S got that big hit but were robbed by Bomber defensemen. Steve Sartori robbed Scarface on the final out of the game, Barbara had some great plays from centerfield, and Susan Osterlitz made one of the craziest plays these Sparky eyes have ever seen.
For a couple years now, as your faithful beat writer, you’ve learned that I do not exaggerate. Well, let me tell you about this one. Scarface hit a ball right on the screws, a line drive right at Osterlitz, and that’s where the magic started.
“I thought we were going to lose Sue,” birthday girl Melinda Haggerty said.
“I also thought we were going to lose a Sue,” third baseman Brian Reilly said.
But Osterlitz took the ball off the palm of her glove and let it squirt out. Then she proceeded to slowly roll the still live ball up her forearm and across her shoulders. When Osterlitz didn’t think that degree of difficulty was high enough, she rolled it around the insides of her arms and across her upper chest region like a Harlem Globetrotter. She eventually stopped proving that she could juggle and finally cradled the ball between her barehand and the glove.
And when that happened, B&E should have known that karma was back on their side. And seriously, if Scarface hit a missile home run to right field, why would Josue yell “We’re going to put numbers on all the house.”

Blowout City

Defense Sparkles in Blowout Victory
BY SPARKY CHALMERS
“Bombers.” It’s emblazoned across the front of every B&E jersey. And nobody would argue that this team doesn't have the most Pearson league firepower—but no Bomber would tell you that Championships aren't built around defense.
B&E flashed leather in every nook and cranny of Woodcliff Lake Park Monday night and earned an 18-2 victory over HSS.
Jason Calcano led off the game with a home run but HSS managed to get through the rest of “Publishers Row,” allowing only one run. A feat that had yet to be accomplished...and confidence was sky high.
“It’s no secret that the big bats at the top of the order account for a lot of runs and awe-inspiring power,” right-fielder Elisabeth Scarpa said. “Leaving the top of the first-inning with only one run was surprising. And I got engaged last weekend.”
Surprised at the quick inning? Maybe. Ready to lock down the HSS offense? Yes.
B&E (3-1) worked a 1-2-3 inning sparked by a wonderful stab by Kim Lovato that kept HSS star Craig Campanell off the bases. The play at second, in particular, set the defensive tone for the rest of the game and earned Lovato the first “Platinum Boombox MVP Necklace” (Big thanks to our friends at Tiffany and Co. who were nice enough to donate the award)
“I just figured that no indie bands were playing in the area,” Lovato said. “And none of my friends were born in the month of July. And I already saw Toy Story 3. So I might as well show up and play softball.”
Good for the Bombers that all those stars aligned because the spark in the first was contagious and soon everyone was following the example. Per the usual, Jason Calcano played a fantastic shortstop (from now on, until further notification, just assume that Calcano played well at short). James Heine played the best third-base of his career and summoned his inner Brett Favre gunning (and I use this phrase loosely) down batters hustling to first.
The outfield also sparkled as Eric Svendsen and Michael Barbara chased down balls that lesser players would have let drop in for extra base hits.
“It’s very easy to pitch when everyone around you is playing well,” B&E Ace and reigning Cy Young award winner who has miraculously not yielded a walk this season Ian Gold said. “The other team has to be deflated, must seem like we have 14 people in the field.”
While the defense was shining, the offense kicked itself into gear. The Woodcliff Lake field features a much deeper wall than Park Ridge—and the Bomber offense showed its ability to adapt. Hitters that are used to teeing up balls into the left field forest were lining ropes into the field and digging out doubles. Baserunning became a premium and two-out RBIs added up until the HSS team was staring at an insurmountable deficit.
“The other team was souped that we only put one run up in the first but I had little doubt that we would reach our usual totals,” outfielder Mack Patterson said. “We’ve got some of the best hitters in the league and we always find someone to step up.”
Patterson stepped up at the back of the lineup and hit line drives through the infield for solid hits. The third year veteran drove in runners and set the table for “Publishers Row.”
B&E and USCG Meet For First Place
The Bombers are back in action tonight for the second game of a three-game set. They play host to familiar rivals USCG—the only team to defeat the Bombers this year. A win for B&E would move them into first place by way of runs scored. A large crowd is expected, so if you don’t come, you will be singled out for hating Pearson and your coworkers.

This Guy Is Happy