Most Boring Game Ever

Music Rings Life into Bomber Lineup

BY SPARKY CHALMERS



Guest statistician Linda Albelli went through a full pens worth of ink Tuesday night in Park Ridge. A combination of Bomber bats and well placed balls resulted in a lot of runs – and I’m talking a ton. While fighting off the early stages of Carpal Tunnel, Albelli kept note of every run during a 31-6 victory over HR/Legal.

The Bombers surrendered two runs in the top of the first inning, and that was the last negative thing that happened for the day. Pop-ups found green and turned into doubles, ground balls hit gaps and turned races to first into races to home. It was just the kind of medicine B&E needed after the Barnum and Bailey’s 5th inning from Monday’s loss.

“After the loss to USCG it was nice to bounce back in a big way,” second basegirl Melinda Haggerty said. “After we got a few breaks we got our confidence back, and swung the bat with authority.”

Adding to the party was a huge boombox that echoed each Bomber’s theme music through Park Ridge. Apart from being 35-pounds of fun, the music seemed to relax the batting order and get B&E into a rhythm from the get go.

“When Jason (Calcano) went up to bat and we kick-started our music tradition it was pretty awesome,” second basegirl Susan Osterlitz said. “His music choice was very fitting and reminded me of my time at Mango’s in Miami.”

Calcano led the first inning off with a home-run over the left field fence. Four batters later Michael Barbara added a left-field blast of his own. And the merry-go-round known as the bases didn’t stop moving for a while. The first inning was the first of two innings that the Bombers batted around in.

“We got the snowball rolling downhill and it just kept getting bigger and harder to stop,” Michael Barbara said before being cut off by catcher Janeen Lucius who stated that interns don’t get quoted in the paper and get fined for using cliché analogies.

Every person (except Melinda Jensen and Sam Nicole) on the right side of the field had stats worthy of note. Mack Patterson had a grand slam through the middle of the field, James Heine swears he went 5-for-5, Haggerty reached base three times and Osterlitz hit a well placed ball into right field and ended up on third base.

And so on and so on.

The feel good story of the day was HR/Legal turning down the 10-run rule in the 5th inning and playing the game out until the end – and then joining the team out for post-game festivities. Willie Stargell once said “When they start the game, they don't yell, "Work ball." They say,"Play ball." HR/Legal in cooperation with a boombox full of tunes reminded us of that.